


Work It (Put My Thang Down, Flip It, and Reverse It)

by Adventine



Category: Buhay Kolehiyo, SSU, Sexy Sexy Universities
Genre: Dancer AU, LORD PATAWAD, M/M, probably ooc idk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-12
Updated: 2017-05-12
Packaged: 2018-10-30 19:59:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10883895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adventine/pseuds/Adventine
Summary: Mia was only gone for FIVE SECONDS and shit hit the fan faster than she could say “gago.”ORMia has 99 problems and 40 of them are named after Neo and Salle.





	Work It (Put My Thang Down, Flip It, and Reverse It)

**Author's Note:**

> I am an embarrassment to this nation, lord almighty.
> 
> The usual disclaimers apply. I don't own anything, all characters belong to the creators of Sexy Sexy Universities and Buhay Kolehiyo over on FB, and I am merely trying to swim through the crushing pressure of my own desire for more NeoSalle shitposting. Gomenasorry for any OOC or grammatical errors, and please note that this is in Taglish. If you want a general idea of how both Neo and Salle dance, see:
> 
> Bruno Mars' _That's What I Like_ (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PMivT7MJ41M). Mars can dance like sex on legs, but this is one of his lighter (funner?) dances, and it seems like something Neo would be able to pull off. 
> 
> For Salle's stripper dancing, watch Bongyoung Park here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3oeOHLGh-i0. I might have lost blood watching this over and over again, but hey, that's part of the hazards of fangirl lyf.

_italics_ \- Mia's thoughts

//lyrics// 

 

*

 

Mia was only gone for FIVE SECONDS and shit had hit the fan faster than she could say “gago.” 

She’d come back from her bathroom break just in time to see Salle in the process of invading Neo’s personal space like he wanted to start a fire and make camp there. Neo, who could usually be depended upon to keep his cool in the face of most provocations, was raising an eyebrow so vexing that even the Jesuits would have made patol and smacked him upside the head. Tomas was smiling evil-ly between the two of them, saying something while he was rubbing his hands together like a villainous kitten, Phil was nodding along like the complete enabler that he was, and in the background, Cess was sucking on a lollipop and recording the whole thing on her phone.

 _Dios mío these hijo de putas_ , Mia grumbled to herself, eye-rolling as she started walking towards them to see what all the fuss was about.

However, after having taken only a few steps towards them, both Neo and Salle turned to Tomas and nodded in agreement to whatever hare-brained scheme he had proposed and stompeda few feet away from each other. Tomas ran towards the speakers and started connecting his phone to it, scrolling madly and giggling like a crazy person. Phil and Cess moved even farther away from Neo and Salle, and Mia reached them while the eagle and the archer got ready for whatever it was they were going to do and started stretching. 

“Hoy Phil ano na nangyayari dito? Magsusuntukan ba yung dalawang yan?” she asked as she approached him.

It was a testament to how much Tomas had influenced the usually level-headed Phil that he turned toward her with this really pilyo smile and said:

“Hindi. Dance battle daw, hehehehe.”

“BAKIT?!? Ano sa tingin nila ‘to, Step Up?!?”

But before Phil could answer, Tomas screamed:

“3, 2, 1, AND — !”

The opening beats of Bruno Mars’ _That’s What I Lik_ e started playing, and Neo threw himself head first into the song as if it was something he did regularly in his spare time. After a few more eye rolls and annoyed huffing, Mia finally accepted her fate and sat down on the floor, making herself comfortable as she decided she might as well enjoy the show everyone was so determined to put on. 

     // I've got a condo in Manhattan  
     Baby girl what's happening //

As usual, Neo made dancing look effortless. She’d been his dance partner for years in a string of endless ballroom classes both of them were made to take while growing up, but the ease with which he carried himself on the dance floor was always interesting to watch. Something about the line of his shoulders and the arc of his neck stood in contrast to the twisting of his hips, and it had a strange allure that she couldn’t explain but could definitely feel. It didn’t help that he’d picked a song with a rhythm that was so easy to enjoy, and she swayed her body in time to it, feeling herself getting swept up by Neo’s performance.

Stupid best friend and his stupid music choices. She couldn’t even stay annoyed even if she wanted to.

// I’ll never make a promise that I can’t keep // sang Bruno Mars, and Neo winked at Salle with a tiny infuriating smirk just as he twisted in the air and dropped to his knees in one liquid motion, grinding his hips downward in a beautifully obscene curve of straining muscles. 

 _Boom!_ thought Mia proudly as Phil wolf-whistled and Cess screamed like a dying animal. The look on poor Salle’s face was priceless, and Mia had half a mind to have pity if she wasn’t enjoying this whole damn cocktease of a dance so much. Salle should know by now Neo would never back out of a challenge without putting up one hell of a fight, and hot damn was he pulling out all the stops.

 _Poor baby doesn’t know what hit him_ , Mia thought at the archer as the song ended and Neo bowed to the noisy applause of Cess, Phil, and Tomas.

“O ano, give up ka na Salle?” said Neo as he wiped his face with his crop top, exposing even more of his abs and, _madre mia_ , his nipples, _as if he wasn’t the most straight-laced gago this side of Katipunan_. Mia wanted to smash her eyes against her palm, but she was a great friend so she resisted, and tried to show no reaction at all to the macho posturing happening in front of her. Mamaya na niya sasapakin si Neo for public indecency, landi landi niya tangina yan.

Shaking himself out of his stupor, Salle got his bearings back and smirked in response, rolling his shoulders and signalled Tomas to start playing his song with a nod of his head.

“Kung hindi ako magaling na dancer, baka kinabahan na ako.” When Mia heard the first few notes of Salle’s song, she couldn’t think of anything else but “H O L Y S H I I I I T MAYDAY ABORT ABORT.” 

“E pano ba yan." Salle did a little turn on the balls of his feet. "Magaling ako e.” 

The first spiralling bars of Chris Brown’s _Take You Down_ barely drowned out Cess’ disgusted gagging noises, but Salle started showing everyone that his muscles were not just for decoration. The archer danced like an explosion, aggression erupting out of him with a speed that knocked the air out his audience with every move he made. _He dances like its a fight_ , thought Mia, and it was the total opposite of Neo’s cool composure, but no less riveting in its difference. Everybody knew about Salle’s irrepressible sensuality; he wore it like he wore his college jacket (proudly unfurled and unrepentant), but when he was dancing, it was like somebody had turned up the sex dial and kicked it up to a hundred. No one was really surprised by it, except that neither was anyone fully prepared to see the full force of it, out and about in its raw and unfiltered form. Even Mia could feel her breath coming up short, and she was totally uninterested in the guy on any kind of physical level. 

     // It ain’t my first time  
     Baby girl we can pretend. // 

 _Ayan na_. Mia could feel the song cresting, and she took a deep breath to steady herself for what was about to come. 

     // Let us bump and grind  
     Girl tonight will never end. //

 _Neo stay strong, jusko_.

     // Let me take you down! //

When Salle started grinding like a putanginang stripper, many things happened at once. Cess covered her eyes and started screaming bloody murder (“KUYA JESUS CHRIST ANG DUMI DUMI MO ISUSUMBONG KITA KAY MAMA SIGE KA 'TANGINA MO”), Tomas gasped and made the sign of the cross, Phil tried to cover Tomas’ eyes while laughing his head off, and Neo . . .Neo died. Mia saw the exact moment na nadurog lahat ng resolve nung kaibigan niya, and namula siya mula pisngi hanggang leeg, burning in the fire of his own feelings. _Rest in peace bestie_ , Mia thought as Salle got on his knees and started gliding towards Neo like a snake over water, without heed of any kind of gravity or decency at all. When hardly any space was left between the two of them, Salle started gyrating upwards until he was nose-to-nose with his rival, once again invading his space and smirking like a hungry predator with too many teeth. From where she was, Mia could see Neo’s throat clicking dryly, stuck and unable to move in the face of Salle’s full attention. He seemed to stop breathing entirely as Salle slowly placed a hand around the side of his neck, large and heavy like the band of a collar. 

Mia wanted to do something, wanted to stop it (whatever _it_ was) from happening, but what was she to do when the prey had already sacrificed himself willingly, if not in form, but quietly and secretly, in his heart of hearts?

“HOY KAYONG DALAWA TIME OUT PG-13 LANG PWEDE SA KWENTO NA ‘TO!”

The tension snapped like a twig beneath Phil’s booming voice, and Mia let out a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding in the whole time. Neo and Salle jumped apart like two scalded cats, and Cess finally peaked between her fingers to survey the scene before her. Tomas was pouting, but otherwise let Phil handle the situation without any complaint or interruption.

Salle was the first to recover from his embarrassment, quickly wrapping himself around his brodie like the man-whore that he was and wiggling his eyebrows at his friend lasciviously. “Inggit ka, Phil? Pwede din naman kita sayawan, may bayad nga lang.”

“No offense bro pero hard pass ako diyan. Konti nalang bubulagin ko na sarili ko.”

“TALAGA LANG KUYA SAAN MO BA NATUTUNAN YUNG MGA GANYANG GALAWAN PARA KANG NAGTATRABAHO SA BEERHOUSE.” 

While everyone was busy razzing Salle and his dancing skills, Neo had wobbled his way to Mia and sat down hard beside her, winded and seemingly unable to catch his breath. She pressed her shoulder against his in a small show of affection, and he buried his face in the crook of her neck and groaned pitifully. 

“So ano yung lesson of the story natin dito ngayon, ha?” she teased him after a few moments.

“Wala. Basura ako. Basura tayong lahat.” He muttered forlornly, and tried to prevent her from jostling him away.

“Speak for yourself.” She shoved him off and ignored his puppy dog eyes as she got up and dusted her sweats. Cess, Tomas, Salle, and Phil were now arguing about where to go next, dance practice apparently over for the day, but it wouldn’t be long until they got antsy and noticed that she and Neo were not part of their discussion.

“Let’s go na, I’ll treat you to milk tea. Sobrang kawawa mo tingnan e.” She held out her hand for him to grab and he accepted it gratefully, finally pulling himself up with more of his usual feline grace.

“Hoy Mia! Neo! San niyo gusto kumain? Gutom na kami ni Phil!” Tomas called out from the gym’s exit.

“Daan tayo Coco! Gusto daw ni Neo ng milk tea!” She sped up and pulled her best friend along with her until they were back in the close proximity of the group.

“Eh?” said Salle, and Mia did not miss the way he thoughtlessly curled his arm around Neo’s waist as he came closer. “Pinagod ba kita, Neo?” 

“Pagod mo mukha mo gusto ko lang ng milk tea.”

 _‘Sus ginoo_ , was all Mia thought, but she laughed nonetheless when Neo poked Salle in the side and the other hit a lamp post trying to get away from him.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> 1) Head canon: Neo and Mia are so fancy that they took ballroom classes when they were children. 
> 
> 2) Salle is the type of ho who will audition for Magic Mike and take a topless selfie with all the other dancers, complete with tongue and peace out sign. What an incorrigible ass.
> 
> 3) I thought I was being subtle about it, but apparently Salle wins this dance battle hands down. I agree. Gyrations > Technique.


End file.
